Looking for love? Well, here at The Red and Blue, we have the country's first dating page, full of AFL teams looking for your love.
Even though, for privacy reasons, their names are hidden, you can guess who they are...
1. SAILOR obsessed, young team seeks significant other. Must hate birds of prey, but adore talking about ridiculously tall ruckmen. Bonus points awarded for any posters of Matthew Pavlich in their lounge.
2. BLONDE-led team reckoned by many to be buying a new wooden spoon this year. Old legs keep this one going, but beware, anyone with a keen interest in sports agency or photography will be turned away.
3. YOUNG travelling side, with loads of money and lots of young talent. Don't let those envious eyes fool you, this side will take your fancied picks and put them on the sidelines. Anyone who doesn't like satsumas, tangerines or nectarines will have to look elsewhere.
4. "I Lost my buddy, and I need a friend.' Mature type seeks emotional comfort after losing the light in it's life. I've been through emotional summer times, but there's still a flag in my house. CAUTION: May run away to Tasmania every now and again for bundles of cash.
5. STRIPEY, church-going side, seek nice person to show round expensive new house. The sibling to a more illustrious neighbour, I've lost my way in everyone but the eyes of Mark Ricciuto. And he's an idiot.Even though I have my Tex, I'm still in love with my Bernard. Look for someone who isn't called Mark. Or Bernard.
6. Paul Roos. Paul Roos. Are you Paul Roos? If you're not Paul Roos. It doesn't matter. Phone me Paul. Please.
(Or Peter Jackson. No, not the Lord of the Rings man/.)