AFL 4 years ago

Jack Watts Buys Mars Bar

  • Jack Watts Buys Mars Bar

STRUGGLING former number one draft pick Jack Watts today has been pictured by AFL photographers at a 7Eleven store buying a SINGLE Mars Bar.

With questions over Watts' commitment looming large around CRISIS club Melbourne Demons, several time-rich AFL experts have concluded the purchase - believed to have been made via PayPass - indicates Watts' lack of DESIRE in the contest.

The Red and Blue secured the interview NOBODY wanted and spoke with Emerald Moon newspaper journalist Bruce 'Razza' Rassington-Smythe.

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"If you look at your Geelongs and your Hawthorns, you see their players properly tucking in to family size Toblerones. Luke Hodge once went into a wedding cake shop and they had to close the franchise down, because he'd eaten the entire stock.

That's kind of desire, commitment and loyalty you want to see from your Hodges, your Riewoldts and your Chapmans.

I remember once Leigh Matthews ate an entire bronze statue of Queen Victoria because someone told him it was milk chocolate. Legend.

Jack Watts? Single Mars bar? Go back to basketball, lad. You ain't no footballer."

When asked if the AFL pundits were perhaps picking on Jack Watts because he's the most recognisable Demons player, and the only one they felt sure they knew the name of, Razza was quick to change the subject.

"Have you seen Nic Nat lately, he's terrible..."

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